Septicemic

My friend, we grit chivalry, still tethered to the spot
Where foundations built of memories crack as they grow apart.
Not willing to let go of what has crumbled and decayed;
Too wistful for the careless whirl of nights staved into day.

Profusely mined of goodwill, but continuing to reach out
With helping hands, now granulated, to a latex covered heart.
A host that spreads misery to his apathetic guest;
Building bridges to cross islands, when quarantine called for separate tents.

The only thing we agree on: pretending, while scouting indolent terrain;
Because composure changes nothing if pride is getting in the way.
As gestures go unnoticed gnashing teeth arrange dead smiles;
Each failed remedy brews tension, heating blood into a boil.

Two clowns that once laughed, now stare back, afraid to strike.
We may not kill each other, but we’re ready for a fight.
History too ancient to forget unless we carve it out with knives;
And I’m tired of wounds that beget wounds, full of plague, and sick of time.

Cody Hulbert Copyright, 2015

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Psychophants

Beau liked Alice, but in a strictly platonic way. She was candid, affable, and about twenty years his elder, which imbued her with a matronly aura (despite how much she might have resented it). No matter how chaotic Alice’s own life would get—which she would only allude to in conversations—she continued to put others before herself, sometimes to her own detriment. To most people at the office, her particular brand of selflessness and initiative was something to either be exploited or ignored, which is exactly why Beau went out of his way to return Alice’s often-unrequited kindness.

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Mercy Me

Footsteps shape these hollowed vessels
Where life hangs in the throes
I’ve prayed for you to have a chance
Too afraid to watch you go
Yet I can’t stomach one more goodbye
Another one-way conversation
I can’t stand my quivering voice
Or that all you can do is listen

Everyone has gathered for support
But instead of talking we shoot stares
Not at each other, down at our feet
It’s pain that brought us here
My throat aches from what’s unsaid
My eyes crack into bloodshot sores
Fingers grasping for a world to cling to
While faceless coats pass through the doors

More hushed whispers protecting me
From what they think that I don’t know
As hard as it might be to talk
It’s so much worse to be alone
I paint on a stronger face
One that says it’s not giving up
But Doubt is knocking at my temples
And Fear is stabbing at my gut

For soon our lives may change
Despite pretending we have no clue
Feeling sorry for myself
When the one that’s suffering is you
You deserve to see tomorrow
That’s what sends tremors to my core
You’re what is best in all of us
A lighthouse guiding ships to shore

So when I say that I’d trade places
Know it’s not a lie
Since you would do the same for me
If you thought that I might…
Should this be your final curtain
It’s been an honor at your side
And should you happen not to fade
I will be here
Just open your eyes

Cody Hulbert Copyright, 2015

oxy(mostly)moron

When I’m forced to take a picture
I just want to be myself
So when I have to disappear
I slip into someone else

When I think outside the box
I lock other people out
Because when I put my best foot forward
It still ends up in my mouth

When I’m comfortable in my skin
That’s when I’m tucked within my shell,
Another sixty-four-dollar question
Another lie to tell

When I disappoint myself
I’m making other people proud,
The next time I take chance
I’ll still pander to the crowd

When I try to make a point
I can never strike a chord
Since living by my wits
Leaves me at a loss for words

When I’m trying to be nice
Is when I’m softest spoken
But if I could lay down my arms
I know yours would likely open

When I think about what I am
It never adds up to what we are
So when I’m lost and losing face
I remember you’re never far

Cody Hulbert Copyright, 2015.

Nice People Finish First

The sad thing about nobility is that it rarely gets highlighted in society unless we’re seeking it out. We know what makes a hero when it comes to our entertainment, sure, but we fail to realize that those same qualities are necessary to make up normal, decent people (minus the super powers). The trouble is—at least for me—it sometimes feels like such a person doesn’t exist out there in the wild. And before I point the finger anywhere else, allow me to point it at myself. I let this happen. For instance, I’m much more likely to recall the face of the maniac on his or her cell phone that cut me off than the person who held the door open for me when my arms were filled with groceries. It’s something that I want to get better at, but it’s difficult when you feel hardwired to focus on the bad rather than the good.

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Vindictive Vindication

I’d rather be
Uncertain
Screaming in the wind
Than have it figured out
Closed off to everything

I’d rather be
The one that cares
Not fearing what I feel
Than not embracing my mistakes
Avoiding what is real

I’d rather be
Completely honest
Even when it makes you cry
Than spinning webs that hang us both
Because it’s easier to lie

I’d rather be
The one that’s lost
Who’s searching for a purpose
Than rushing toward a finish line
That’s always made me nervous

I’d rather
Never settle
Though it just might kill me
Than not be who I idolize
Just waiting to be buried

I’d rather be
Myself because
It’s better to be dumb
Than to ever get complacent
And turn bitter from being numb

Blog Changes

If you have visited the blog recently and paid any attention to the web address you might have noticed that it’s different now. Over the past couple of months I’ve been struggling with the identity of this site. In an effort to categorize more effectively I’m going to start using a two site approach. inerdthings.wordpress.com will be home to my rants and reviews. That original blog address was always more appropriate for my dorkier ramblings and I intend to keep it that way. Meanwhile, codyrosswriting.wordpress.com will be used for my own creations. That would include poems, flash fiction, and short stories.

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Deluged

Fighting off the undertow
With prosthetic limbs
Interrupt my reverie
Out of oxygen
Try to keep my mouth shut
Only flames to choke
No point in explaining things
If it’s all some joke
Do the best I can to brush it off and move on
Don’t want to return the favor that’s why I’m withdrawn

The platitudes were lovely
The first couple times
Now it’s getting lonely
Ignoring all the crimes
Tired of biting my tongue,
Nothing left to chew
Could fill a few novels
With what I thought you knew
There’s no resolution that’s why I can’t get past
The things I thought you heard but then they got trashed

Everything that I said
You just take it back
Digging out the trenches
Ready for attack
It doesn’t matter what cause
We think we’re fight for
Pushing into fresh wounds
That’s how you start a war
When all the smoke clears I can count on regret
To put things back together, but I can’t forget

Epoch

A day, a dream is cast away, consumed by what is wonted
A mind, a life—both start to fade as memories turn haunted
No lessons learned, no monuments, just lowered expectations
The clock is melting, overwhelming, assuaging aspirations

Toe the line, toil and grind, pray not to be ignored
But know that all these mountains here existed long before
A conscience shows no mercy; pleasure’s not the same as greed
If what your doing doesn’t matter then you’ll bridle as you bleed

The time that’s spend is borrowed, yet we’re leasing more and more
Never stopping to ask why or what we need all of it for
Sleepwalking with a waning pulse yearning for what comes next
Impatient with the hourglass despite this cursed vex

Night approaches, everlasting, pitch black without remorse
A long life is a slow death if you choose to stay the course
Twilight shading the horizon; soon another day is gone
The question drifting in the breeze: Is it dusk or is it dawn?

Inside Out Review: Bittersweet

Inside Out Banner

Inside Out managed to do something that no other Pixar movie has been able to do in the last five years. It resonated with me. While Pixar has continued generating consistently entertaining movies, it’s been awhile since the accomplished studio has delivered a story with enough insight, charm, and emotion to match the playful sophistication of its CG visuals, at least for this viewer. Though outings such as Brave and Monsters University can hardly be considered missteps, they fell short of the incredibly high bar the team at Pixar had previously set for themselves, so forgive me for saying that Inside Out is a return to form.

Inside Out Goofy

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